For quite some time now, I’ve been pretty happy and unhappy at the same time. I’ve been feeling really bored with life and at 15, that kind of scares me. I just feel like there’s no adventure in my life. I can’t really do much because my parents are over-protective. I sit in my room, watch Netflix, or read on my phone. That is all I ever do. The same routine is something I’ve grown so used to that it’s become boring. On top of all that, I’ve been feeling really alone. I usually feel alone and I’ve chalked it up to being 15 and a Freshman. I can’t honestly say that I have a lot of friends. I can’t honestly say that I have someone to tell all my secrets to and have fun with. And I can’t honestly say that I feel like I belong somewhere. All that is so scary. I know that all of this is just temporary, but it doesn’t mean that I’m not sad about it all. I just really wish that I had a real best friend. Maybe next year.
I’ve been so annoyed with my family lately. I feel really guilty about it and keep reminding myself that I’m lucky to have a full family and should be grateful for it. They’re all just so inconsiderate about how I’m feeling and what I want. I just can’t help but feel alone in my family, also. I’m not close with any member of my family. I used to be close with my two younger brothers but they’re growing up and their attitudes are rapidly changing.
I feel alone in everything that I do. Everything is just so scrambled up in my head, and I don’t know what to do about it all. I find myself staying in my room all day and then feeling really really sad. Once I sit around by other people for a little bit, I start to feel better and then go right back to sitting in my room.
I think that’s all I want to say for now. To anyone reading this, don’t worry about me. I really am fine. I have my head on straight, and as long as I have myself, I’ll be okay. Thank you for letting me vent. The word document is kind of the only way I can talk in a very weird, sad kind of way (lol).