It been a while. Almost four months, I think? I’ve been pretty okay lately, not content- but almost there. I think that is the explanation for my lack of entries. I’m mainly here when I’m feeling down or conflicted or just feeling in general.
I started this summer off with the idea that I’d be doing things with my friends and out all the time because this was the first summer where I was getting a little bit of freedom, you know? But I’m about a week and a half into summer, and I realize now that I hate my friends.
They aren’t very considerate or nice people, and I don’t like being around them. I like bowling, going to movies, and window-shopping- just not with them. I’d rather do those things by myself then have to spend another second with people I don’t want in my life.
It makes me sad to know that they are the only friends I have right now. At my school, there’s only two groups- bitches and weirdos. I don’t fall into either. It’s not like I stick out or am an oddball or an outcast, I have my own small group outside of them. I just hope and pray that next year, (Sophomore year!!) some new girls, or guys, come into my grade and I can be friends with them. I’m an introvert, but I would absolutely love to have some friends that drag me away from my bed and Netflix and make me go out with them. Right now, I want that more than anything.
I really just want a best friend that understands me and that I feel like I can tell anything to, and I don’t have that- and haven’t -for a while. I have a ‘best friend’, but I can’t even bring myself to call her that. She’s very rude, inconsiderate and doesn’t use her head. She doesn’t have one ounce of empathy in her body and makes me uncomfortable. She’s also highly judgmental.
I’ve honestly been praying for a new, great group of friends. I hope God answers my prayers because it makes me really sad to know I’m surrounding myself with people I don’t like and have a hard time thinking good things of.